Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
