You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
