I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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