NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
