update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That was an excessively violent trivia night
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
