WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
