He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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