so that wasnt chicken after all
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
