Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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