I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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