He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
