yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
