no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
now i know why i became what i already was.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
