giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
