If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i drank out of a bidet.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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