She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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