So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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