So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize