Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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