Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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