i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Shame is for Republicans.
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