there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
