i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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