Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
