I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
