My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
