We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize