I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
