Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
