I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
