Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
