Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize