I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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