Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Semen is not good for contacts.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
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