we're chasing vodka with high fives
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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