i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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