So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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