So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
