One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
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Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
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Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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