I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
