I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
