He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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