fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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