the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
