Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
