i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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