thus making me awesome and them whores
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
