"it" just moved
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
