You're my little dorito
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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