WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
