thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
