do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize