I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
