My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize