After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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