girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
