I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he thought i was a dude.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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