I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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