Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
