woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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