Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
