I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
