So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
