if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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