brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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