READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
