WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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