I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
