is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
