Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
