Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
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Everything about him screamed your future.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
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Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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