The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
